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About Peter
– Founder of We Are Neurodiverse 😀
Hi everyone,
Welcome to my new website looking at Neurodiversity. Currently it is a bit sparse as I have just started it and to be honest, I am learning as I go along, so please be patient with me!
If you are interested in starting your own website please check this out: How I started my own website! | We Are Neurodiverse
About me
I am in my forties and was diagnosed with ADHD (non-attentive) around 2 years ago. I have always known that I am not like most people, for example I struggle to make and keep good friends – mostly because I fail to keep in contact with them.
I find that when I start projects that I am massively enthusiastic about them but once it has started my enthusiasm quickly disappears and that project often ends up being over before it has really begun.
Also, I am not great in large group situations, such as team meetings and on nights out, I will always be the one who says little (unless I feel it will benefit the group) and am often misunderstood as others see this as not interacting and participating, whereas really, if I have something important to say, I will say it, if not then I cannot bring myself to speak for the sake of it (there are always some in the group who love the sound of their own voice to fill in the gaps!!)
Growing up
With ADHD, especially nowadays, it can be fairly easy to see kids who are hyperactive / disruptive and presume they have this condition.
I know personally that it is a long road to a diagnosis (I first went to the doctors when I was in my late teens and wasn’t taken seriously until I reached my 40’s when I finally had the confidence to insist they look into it).
In my earlier years at school, I was always within the top 2 or 3 in my class, so went under the radar as far as showing signs of ADHD. I found learning new subjects quite easy as they didn’t go into too much detail and I was good at learning while I was interested in the subject.
During my middle years, I managed to keep this up and remained in top class, while at school I was able to concentrate and get my work done, but at home I was finding it harder and harder to focus on homework as this required self monitoring which I found extremely difficult – although I had no idea why!
In high school is where it really caught up with me. Although I remained in the top tier, I found it more and more difficult to concentrate on school work while not being at school.
Because I was quiet in class and just got on with the work (while I was within this controlled environment), the fact that I was struggling to complete coursework went mostly unnoticed until my final year when my English teacher called in my parents and expressed her concerns that I would start assignments but never finish them.
Unfortunately 25+ years ago, ADHD wasn’t exactly known about, or at least I had never heard of it, and although my parents invested in a computer for me to complete my work at home, with them sat on my shoulders (metaphorically not physically) watching me to make sure I was working, the thought that there might be a neurological issue behind my behaviours was never considered.
In the end, when it was expected that I should achieve good GCSE’s, I scraped through, followed by 2 years at College where I scraped through and finally by around 4 months at Uni when I finally gave up with studying.
Work life…
My first proper job (after supermarket & pub work part time while studying) went quite well. I started off part-time and within a few years I was Assistant Manager with a decent career ahead of me. This was until I got bored and decided as I had always loved driving, that I wanted to be a bus driver!
I know, random!!
This didn’t go as planned, I gave up my career and ended up messing up my driving tests on the buses, ending up unemployed!
Starting again, in a call centre, I worked on a permanent style temporary contract (sounds weird but the job was secure, just not employed directly), I worked my way around a couple of departments and got a good position which included a decent shift allowance, while being able to put in a lot of hours overtime, the money was good, until I decided I wanted to be an Ambulance Technician.
Again this didn’t go as planned, I had no medical background but somehow managed to get through the application and interview stages, being invited to join the Ambulance Service starting with full time residential training.
This training was extremely intensive ending with a weekly test/exam to see if you would be returning to continue the training the following week! Although I had some coping strategies in place (although I didn’t know they were coping strategies at the time, I just found it easier to learn this way) which helped me and when explained to my colleagues, went on to help a number of them, I lasted around 4 weeks before my brain exploded and I could not take in any more information.
Once again I was unemployed!
With my tail between my legs, I went back to my previous employment, starting again on a basic contract having lost the bonuses I had accrued over my previous years with them.
I managed to stick to this for around 4 years while training as an energy technician during my last year and managed to move to a technical role once qualified – this turned out to be the one and only job decision I haven’t gone on to regret!
I worked as a contractor for 6 years which was difficult as it was piece work (paid per job completed) and on many occasions there was a lack of work, meaning a lack of wages!
Luckily a permanent position came up with a Multi-National Company, working direct with a basic salary and I was successful with my application.
This is where I am now, 8 years with one company – wow – breaking new records every day.
My Neurodiversity
Like I mentioned at the start of this rant blog 🤔, I have recently been diagnosed with ADHD. Although this was a massive shock to me and 2 years later I am still finding it hard to come to terms with, it does go some way to explain to me the reasons behind my actions both at school and at work when it came to homework and sticking at a job!
The diagnosis was nearly derailed a few times along the way, firstly the doctor didn’t seem too concerned when I mentioned my symptoms but did agree to complete a quick assessment (I believe around 20 questions from a script) which did indicate that I should be referred on.
Some months later I attended my first referral which was with a generic consultant, who decided after a fairly quick appointment that I was perfectly fine, just a bit forgetful but definitely not on the spectrum in regards to being forwarded to see a specialist.
By this point, I wasn’t taking no for an answer and insisted that I be referred on, she reluctantly agreed in the end but did say that they would probably refuse to see me as she wasn’t fully behind this decision.
I knew that if I didn’t push now, then this would probably be my last attempt at finding out what was wrong with me. Those 5 minutes I spent standing my ground with this consultant turned out to be the most important 5 minutes of my life!
A number of months passed before I received a letter confirming that I had an appointment with an actual ADHD specialist. I couldn’t believe it, I was so excited / nervous / scared.
The day finally arrived to see a Specialist called Maria, I attended with my partner as I wanted to make the most of this opportunity and to be sure I didn’t miss anything out while explaining how my life had been affected by this.
Maria was amazing!!
Not only, within an hour did she confirm that I had ADHD, she was able to explain how it was easy to miss with me as I have no external hyperactivity, leading to a more accurate diagnoses of Non-Attentive ADHD (often formerly known as ADD).
Amazing result or life destroying?
One thing that Maria was quick to talk about was the fact that this diagnosis was not a green light to having a perfect life.
While a lot of people are happy to be given the knowledge of this condition, which answers a lot of previously unanswerable questions, it is very easy to look back at your life and start questioning – but what if this had been picked up earlier, like when I was at school, or the numerous occasions I went to the doctors previously?
My life could have been so much better had I known about this and been able to put coping strategies etc in place to deal with it.
Honestly, I have found myself somewhere in between the two, excited to learn more about the condition, reading blogs, watching You Tube videos etc while at the same time becoming resentful that I wasn’t taken seriously earlier in my life and looking at how this has negatively impacted me, especially when it comes to my work life and disastrous decisions to bounce between massively different careers.
Overall I must admit that I am 100% happy that I pushed for the diagnosis, I now have the opportunity to learn more about ADHD and how massively undiagnosed it is with adults aged 40+, especially the Non-Attentive ADHD.
Can workplaces ever really understand?
Since my diagnosis, I have thought hard about a conversation I had with Maria in regard to who I tell about this.
Of course I told my close family and a couple of close friends, but she advised that I should not rush into telling others, especially my work colleagues / bosses as once this is out in the open then there is no going back.
I kept up appointments with my specialist and these have been extremely helpful although they have caused a few issues with my workplace as I did mention that I had hospital appointments that I had to attend but couldn’t tell them why.
The relationship with my manager was now strained as he took it personally that I would not disclose the reason for these appointments and I was also quizzed by Senior Management regarding this.
They told me that it was extremely concerning to them that I would not disclose this private information even though I explained that I had been informed that this was my personal choice and I could not be forced to do so.
Randomly one day, while on a work course (only 5 people) with a trainer that I had never met before in my life, I stayed back after the course and asked if she could comment on how I came across in the training, whether I was quiet or appeared to be joining in, or if I seemed different to the others who were there.
It was hard to explain exactly why I was asking, I just said that it had been mentioned to me that I don’t appear to join in during meetings and can seem dis-interested.
The feedback she gave was that I was attentive, joined in and she didn’t notice anything different about me that stood out from anyone else in the class.
This was a relief to me and before I knew exactly what I was saying I opened my heart out to her explaining about my difficulties with ADHD, how recent my diagnosis was and how she was the only person at my work that I had ever told about this – I followed this up by asking her to keep this to herself which she luckily agreed to do.
The colleague that I had opened up to had recently had a great conversation with her manager who was extremely supportive, and this led to her starting her own group at work in which she told her story, similar to this blog I am doing right now!
Every week we were receiving e-mails about how Mental Health Matters, how inclusive the company is in regard to Neurodiversity’s and that they are always there to help and no-one will ever be discriminated against because of this.
And this is me now…
This is where I am now, I am hoping to put this site together and fill it with informative and useful information, both for the general public and businesses (even the one I work for!) to try and show that the stigma attached to Neurodiverse conditions isn’t warranted and by working with people, then we can be a benefit to both the workplace and the world at large 👍
I will look to update this later in the year, hopefully having improved the knowledge within the company I work for, both of those in charge and my colleagues.
If you have any comments on any part of this, advice / suggestions or questions that I may be able to assist you with, please feel free to contact me at pete@weareneurodiverse.com or add a comment below and I will get back to you as soon as I can 😃
Thank you & take care,
Peter
w. weareneurodiverse.com
e. pete@weareneurodiverse.com
